The Abstinence Clearinghouse Blog

Valentines Day has come and gone, yet my thoughts are still centered on love. What is this phenomenon and how does its power take such a strong hold on its victims, leaving even the most powerful men weak in the knees?
 
I don’t know about you, but I have a hard time understanding couples that claim they are madly in love, yet, have no desire to get married. They live together, sleep together, vacate, attend family reunions and parties, garden, wash dishes, walk the dog…they do EVERYTHING together, just like any other married couple, but they aren’t officially married. Not only that, but they have no desire to be…. yet, they proclaim they are in love.
 
I just don’t get it.
 
I firmly believe that deep down, everyone feels a desire to discover a sense of belonging, a yearning to find someone special they can spend the rest of their lives with, and the desire to start a family and nurture and provide for their children.
 
A few weeks ago there was an article in Newsweek Magazine by a woman who, obviously disgruntled and bitter, attempted to convince readers that she “didn’t need a piece of paper and a pretty white dress” to prove her commitment to her boyfriend. She undermined the whole concept of marriage, even going so far as to refer to marriage as merely an “institution”.
 
Adan Madrigal, Co-Founder of J.A.M., poses a great question and asks, “If a person does not put everything they have into their relationship, can they truly be committed to the relationship?”
 
As you know, the idea of marriage is under fire. People want to enjoy the advantages that come from a relationship, but they sometimes aren’t willing to put their whole hearts into it and make, what Adan calls, the  “ultimate commitment of marriage”.  If you aren’t married and you encounter problems in your relationship, its easy just to pick up and leave, and nobody wants a fair-weathered companion. Marriage requires selflessness, and some are not willing to make that sacrifice, even for those who they claim to “love”.
 
We as abstinence educators know where this disturbing trend is headed. Reinforce the importance of commitment and marriage to those you work with. The bottom line is that true happiness is only found when we save sex for marriage.